Pope Names Successor

In a shocking move from the Vatican, Pope John Paul II has named his successor from his deathbed. His successor will be Pope George W Bush. Pope Bush immediately named new Archbishops; Rumsfeld, Cheney, Rove and Wolfowitz. He says he plans to spread Christianity to all lands(especially those with oil) against peoples wills, even if we have to have another Crusades. He will have dual roles as President and Pope to his term expires in 2008. Happy April Fools Day.

UPDATE: Sources say Wolfowitz is converting from Judaism for the appointment. In another update Jeff Gannon is named Head Vatican press spokesman to Pope Bush. Tune to any Fox news channel for live breaking news.